Because Nothing Says ‘5-Star Dining’ Like a Turkey Sandwich with a Side of Dilaudid Au Jus & a Morphine Mousse for Dessert.
Welcome to the ER Bistro, where the menu never changes, and the customers are always… demanding. Our signature dish? A dry turkey sandwich, a room-temp juice box, and, of course, the most requested pairing of all time—Dilaudid Au Jus, served STAT. And don’t forget to save room for the Morphine Mousse—a fan favorite for those who “forgot” to mention their history of opioid-seeking behavior. 🍽️
This tumbler perfectly captures the fine-dining experience of the emergency department—because if you had a dollar for every patient who magically developed a “Tylenol allergy” and a “high tolerance” for IV pain meds, you wouldn’t need this job.
🔥 Why This Tumbler is an ER Essential:
✅ 20 oz Insulated Stainless Steel – Keeps your coffee hot and your patience ice-cold.
✅ Reusable Straw & Spill-Proof Lid – Because the only thing that should be leaking is your faith in humanity at 3 AM.
✅ Double-Wall Insulation – Stays hot for 12 hours, cold for 24—longer than that “emergency” MRI has been pending.
✅ Dishwasher Safe – Because there’s no time for handwashing when you’re explaining, yet again, that the ER is not a Michelin-starred pain management clinic.
✅ Hilarious, High-Quality Print – Won’t fade, crack, or be denied like that last request for Dilaudid ‘just to take the edge off.’
Who’s It For?
🔥 ER Nurses – Because you know exactly who’s about to order the “Dilaudid Tasting Menu.”
🔥 Doctors & Residents – Because yes sir, we are still fresh out of the Morphine Mousse.
🔥 Anyone Who’s Ever Had to Explain That the Turkey Sandwich is Complimentary—The Dilaudid is Not.
🥖 Bonus: Free Shipping on Orders Over $50! 🥖
🛒 Click ‘Add to Cart’ Before Someone Asks for the “Fentanyl Flight with a Side of Turkey.”
