😵‍💫 Functioning? Barely. Coping? Bold of You to Assume – 3×2 Nurse Sticker

Functioning? Unclear. Coping? Delusional.

🧠💊🫠 Shift managed entirely on caffeine, sarcasm, and repressed trauma.

This 3x2” sticker is the official diagnosis for every nurse who's kept it together just enough to avoid a psych hold. Slap it on your charting laptop, badge reel, or forehead during med pass. You may not be coping, but you're clocked in — and that counts for something, right?

🧾 Critical Status Update:

✅ Charting: Done. Mostly lies, but done.

✅ Vitals: Stable. Nurse? Not even close.

❌ Mental health: Left in the staff bathroom around 2AM.

❌ Therapist availability: Waitlisted till 2037.

📦 Fast Nurse Shipping: Ships faster than your patient codes after you open the chart.

💸 $6.50 each or 3 for $15

❓ FAQ (Before You Dissociate):

🧼 Waterproof? — Like your ability to avoid crying in the breakroom.

📏 Size? — 3x2” of emotional malpractice.

🎁 Giftable? — For the nurse who pretends coffee is therapy.

🩺 Work-friendly? — Until someone in leadership actually reads it.