IF IT DOESN’T PUMP BLOOD, I’M NOT INTERESTED.
Look, I’m not your therapist, not your relationship counselor, and DEFINITELY not here to hear about your ex. The only heart I care about is your actual, literal cardiac function. Whether you’re an ICU nurse, a cardiac specialist, or just someone who has NO time for drama but ALL the time for arrhythmias, this tumbler is your new ride-or-die.
Because, honestly? I’ll shock a patient back to life, but I will NOT be resuscitating your toxic situationship.
🔥 Why You NEED This Tumbler (Before Your Next Patient Overshares Their Dating History):
✔️ 20oz Insulated Stainless Steel – Keeps your coffee hotter than an ST elevation and your water colder than your heart when a patient refuses their meds.
✔️ Reusable Straw & Spill-Proof Lid – Because the only thing that should be leaking is the tea at the nurse’s station.
✔️ Double-Wall Vacuum Insulation – Maintains temp longer than your patience for “I don’t take my blood pressure meds, but I feel fine.”
✔️ Dishwasher Safe – Because you already have enough messes to clean up.
✔️ Bold, High-Quality Print – Won’t fade, unlike that one patient’s pulse before you hit them with the epi.
💀 Who Needs This Tumbler?
🔥 Cardiac & ICU Nurses Who Have ZERO Interest in Relationship Drama.
🔥 ER Staff Who’ve Heard “I Have Chest Pain” Way Too Many Times.
🔥 Medical Professionals Who Can Interpret an EKG But Not a Text From Their Crush.
🔥 Anyone Who Knows That ‘Heartache’ Isn’t a Billable Diagnosis.
📦 Fast Shipping – Limited Stock Available!
🚀 Order now before your caffeine levels flatline completely.
🛒 Click ‘Add to Cart’ Now—Because Hydration is More Important Than Their Breakup.
