☕️ Vitals Stable. Nurse? Caffeinated & Dangerous.

Vitals are fine. The nurse? Not so much.

☕️⚠️🧠 Peak performance fueled by rage and espresso shots.

This 3x1.5" sticker is the caffeine-laced warning label you didn't know you needed. Perfect for your charting laptop, badge reel, or IV pump that’s now your emotional support object. Wear it like a DNR — but for social interaction.

🩺 Shift Assessment:

✅ Vitals: Stable (barely).

✅ Crisis: Handled... ish.

❌ Impulse control: Checked out mid-handoff.

❌ Charting accuracy: Legible rage scribbles.

📦 Fast Nurse Shipping: Hits your door faster than a stat order for Ativan.

💸 $6.50 each or 3 for $15

❓ FAQ (Before I Snap):

☕ Waterproof? — Yes. Coffee, tears, urine... it holds up.

📏 Size? — 3 inches of passive-aggressive truth.

🎁 Giftable? — Nurses. Coworkers. Managers who push one more admit.

🚨 Work-appropriate? — If caffeine isn’t a controlled substance.