☕️ Vitals Stable. Nurse? Caffeinated & Dangerous.

4.8/5 • 2100 nurses
$6.50

Dark-humor gear engineered for 12-hour chaos. Laugh through the shift. Gift the sanity.

Size
Surface
Free ship $75+ Returns/Exchanges
Delivers by Sun, Mar 8
  • Premium feel • Nurse-approved fit
  • Machine-washable sarcasm
  • 30-Day Laugh-Or-It’s-Free Guarantee

More details

Vitals are fine. The nurse? Not so much.
☕️⚠️🧠 Peak performance fueled by rage and espresso shots.
This 3x1.5" sticker is the caffeine-laced warning label you didn't know you needed. Perfect for your charting laptop, badge reel, or IV pump that’s now your emotional support object. Wear it like a DNR — but for social interaction.

🩺 Shift Assessment:
Vitals: Stable (barely).
Crisis: Handled... ish.
Impulse control: Checked out mid-handoff.
Charting accuracy: Legible rage scribbles.
📦 Fast Nurse Shipping: Hits your door faster than a stat order for Ativan.
💸 $6.50 each or 3 for $15

❝ This sticker is the only warning I’m giving today. ❞ — Becky L., PACU, Florida

❓ FAQ (Before I Snap):
Waterproof? — Yes. Coffee, tears, urine... it holds up.
📏 Size? — 3 inches of passive-aggressive truth.
🎁 Giftable? — Nurses. Coworkers. Managers who push one more admit.
🚨 Work-appropriate? — If caffeine isn’t a controlled substance.

Flat shipping $4.99 • Free $75+ • Delivery 5–7 business days